Living in Liminal Space: Hello from Des Moines!

A VERY delayed hello and Happy New Year from Des Moines, Iowa!

Well folks, the Get Busy Living Tour came to a close in Barcelona, Spain on August 30, 2019. Many of you have reached out and warmly welcomed me home, asked me how the transition back has been, what’s next for me and if I plan to write/share more about my experiences from my 8 months of travel to 30 different countries. Thank you for the warm welcome and your interest in my story. It means so much and I do hope to recap more of it in the coming year. I admit I’ve had many stops and starts in mentally unpacking and writing about the Get Busy Living Tour. Maybe I struggle because 2019 was one of the most incredible years of my life and putting it in to words feels like an insurmountable task. Maybe writing about it in past tense is admitting the journey has come to a close for now or maybe regardless of how much I have grown and learned to appreciate my strengths and who I am, reading my own words and reflections brings out the harshest critic in me. Whatever the reason, I have let these and many other distractions be a barrier long enough and it is time for me to get out of my own way.

I have spent the time since my return in a bit of a dreamlike, hazy, semi-secluded state, trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to decompress and process it all. It feels as though I have just read the final page of an epic novel. You’re not a reader you say! I appreciate your honesty. Insert watching the final episode after binge watching an epic TV series. You know the feeling. Regardless, I was swept away on an incredible, other worldly adventure where time vaporizes. Now with the final page read (episode watched) and the book closed (TV turned off), I am in that dizzying state where the engrossing novel world ends and reality meet. As I come up for air, it is satisfying to know the conclusion of the adventure I’ve been so absorbed in, but simultaneously I don’t want to leave that magical world and story behind. Inevitably any time you finish an epic novel (TV series), there’s always the question of what’s next to read (watch) and could it possibly be as good as the story that was just finished? Bobby and I spent over 2 ½ years focused on planning, saving, and dreaming for this and WE MADE IT HAPPEN! I am so unbelievably proud. I also however feel a void where I had been channeling so much energy, anticipation and time to this dream for so long.

When preparing for my solo world travels, weirdly I didn’t romanticize it. I knew from my previous travels and semester abroad experiences that it would be hard, I would be challenged, and there would be days when I was lonely, scared or homesick. I was pretty darn realistic and matter-of-fact about what it entailed. I was mentally ready for this and absolutely thrived during my 8 months on the road, knowing the immense and rare privilege I had to wake up in different countries, filled with endless opportunities for new, exciting cultural learning experiences and challenges to navigate. My heart was beyond full as I found myself soaking up unexpected, quiet corners of the world. I was energized and in awe by all I was able to experience and learn and humbled by how much there is to still for me to learn. I have barely even scratched the surface of this vast world. I also met and befriended such kind and interesting people from all over the globe. Many generously shared their stories and in several cases opened their homes to me. They taught me so much. Many of my new friends do not subscribe to the notion that there is only one blueprint to living a meaningful and full life. They have defined their own ideas of success not what society has told them is success. I related to and reveled in their bravery to step outside the norm to CREATE the lives they want. These people have touched my heart, inspired me and added such richness to this journey.

I had enough chats with my fellow long-term traveler friends I made along the way to be forewarned that there would be bumps to re-acclimating to life at home, however, I still foolishly romanticized my return. I believed my general disposition of immense gratitude, positivity and perspective would help me to coast through the transition back to reality and routine. Let me tell you folks the post travel blues is a real thing and can pack a heavy punch. My first month home was incredibly joy-filled and easy as I was in a flurry of reconnecting with the myriad of people and things I had missed during my time away such as my incredible husband, my two fur babies Buxton and Morgan, my family and friends, sleeping in my own bed, not sharing a dorm room or kitchen with half a dozen other travelers, driving my car again, access to laundry etc. etc. However, the longer my backpack has sat empty and my passport in the drawer, I have struggled to mentally and emotionally unpack what has been one of the most remarkable years of my life. I hate to admit that there have been days I have struggled to find the energy and enthusiasm to reconnect with the community I call home and that I so dearly love. I am so incredibly grateful for the Get Busy Living Tour and for all I have in my life to return home to. I do not take ANY of that for granted and carry a certain amount of guilt and shame for having these down days when I know how privileged I am to have experienced all that I have and return home to all that I have.

While traveling solo I have never been more certain I was doing what I was meant to be doing. I was completely present and in my element. That sense of clarity is a powerful and intoxicating sensation. Now I have less clarity and am unsure of how to answer the questions of what’s next. This fall a friend shared with me that I am experiencing the phenomena of liminal space. The inter-webs (https://inaliminalspace.org/about-us/what-is-a-liminal-space/ to be precise) characterized liminal space as:

“A liminal space is the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next.’ It is a place of

transition, a season of waiting, and not knowing. Liminal space is where all

transformation takes place, if we learn to wait and let it form us.”

I think that hits the nail on the head! As I sit in this season of waiting and not knowing, I am trying to give myself grace as I struggle to articulate what I want for this next chapter of my life. How can I best serve and reconnect with my community in a way that inspires and replenishes me, and not just my bank account? Part of what excited me in December 2018 when I quit my job to embark on this journey around the world was the opportunity to relinquish control, to dance in the unknown, to not have all the answers, to let myself evolve, grow and dream big. To trust that wherever I landed when I returned would be the right thing, to re-imagine and be open to opportunities that might be out of the ordinary. Through this journey I have learned not to let fear be the driver of my decisions. I want to be purposeful in what I do next. It has and may continue to take time for me to answer what’s next and that’s okay. It is just a continuation of the adventure and this journey I set out on.

I have found since returning home it is so easy to fill my days with distraction and noise to avoid getting down to the hard work involved with introspection and growth. As a result of this, I also feel the absence of being fully present that I experienced while traversing the globe. I am beginning to ask myself how I can purposefully quiet or remove the noise and distractions to make the necessary space for reflection and transformation to take place. I welcome any suggestions YOU my friends out there might have! How do you find opportunities for growth in the midst of the noise of daily life?

So there you have it, this is where I’m currently at. Its not Barcelona but its home. And home

is a pretty darn good place to be.

As we closed out an unbelievable year and decade, I am filled with immense gratitude for ALL it has brought me. I am especially grateful to my incredible husband who continues to encourage and love me through all aspects of this journey. Per the many requests, I do look forward to making the space and time to share my stories from the road with you while they are still fresh. Selfishly I know this will also help me to process and unpack all I have experienced in these months.

Thank you for being a part of this journey and for all your love and support along the way. Cheers to continuing to Get Busy Living wherever you may find yourself!

Anna

One more thing:

You’ll see my next post one week from today (I think that's what they call public accountability). See you then!